Jack Staten worked for the local zoo in the big cat area. He worked there for several years and moved his way up. Finally, he was head of the big cat area. Once he attained that coveted status, he decided to try and get something changed. Something he’d noticed long ago. The zoo was on a hill, and the cat enclosures were around the middle of the hill. At the top of the hill were the bear exhibitions.

At staff meetings, Jack started to bring up the subject of swapping the two areas. He really wanted his cats at the top of the hill. He would mention how the cats were miserable where they were and the bears were miserable where they were. Both would be much happier if they were moved. His bosses asked around to see if this was fact. No one knew whether it was true. Because Jack seemed to know what he was doing, and because he brought in lots of customers, they thought hard about his idea.

Jack had his cats tamed pretty well. He would put on a show for the customers by running in the pen at a certain time of day. Some of his big cats, cougars, pumas, and panthers, would chase him. Mostly, the people watching would watch, scared, as he ran from the lions. He would end up running to the den, and one of the cats, it didn't matter which one, would chase him on into the den. There it would stay for several minutes, finally coming back out, but without Jack. He'd already exited through the doorway in the back of the den.

People would rush to the zoo store to tell the workers there that they were afraid a man got eaten by a lion. The personnel would tell them they would check it out, "but meanwhile, look at the items we have that you can buy to remember this exciting day."

Kids would yell, "I want that, I want this!" Parents would pull out their wallets and fork over the cash.

One day, a wealthy contributor died. He left a bundle for the zoo. With all those extra funds, the board of directors decided they would go ahead and change the zoo to how Jack requested.

Months went by, millions were spent, but all the changes were finally in effect. The big cats were at the top of the hill, and the bears were around the middle. On the glorious day that the big cats were moved into their new area, Jack went in for his show. He spoke to the lions, and they all perked their ears up. When Jack took off running, all five of the lions took off after him. He didn't make it to the den. Instead, all five lions pounced on him and pulled him apart.

When the officials arrived to take statements, the onlookers told the horrifying story. No one knew what set off the big cats, except the big cats. They knew that when Jack came into the enclosure, he said, "ha ha, we finally got to the top of the hill. Now, we're going to call this place, "Mount Lion", ha ha ha".

Big cats don't like puns.

Labels: fiction, lions